My Appointment

Every morning I wake up, swing my feet over the edge of the bed and gently caressing my rug with my toes because one day I won’t be able to feel my feet anymore. I try to enjoy the sensations most of us take for granted daily because one day I won’t be able to feel the softness of my rug, the cool earth beneath me or the sand betwixt my toes. It’s a sad realization, but one I will try and overcome.

I have a doctor’s appointment soon. It will be my first endocrinology appointment in a VERY long time. As in, since Texas…. I haven’t gone that long without seeing a doctor, but not seeing an endo is pretty bad. I’m just glad I finally did it. I’m expecting the worse news since diagnosis, but hoping for the best. Every action has its consequence. I have only myself to blame.

Life has been pretty sucky still. At this point I feel, always have and always will. I have too much of an adventurous soul. I’m too finicky, too picky. Nothing will ever be perfect. Honestly, my disease doesn’t allow me the energy to complete some things anymore. It’s hard for me. The rare moments I have the energy I take way too much advantage of it and end up screwing myself for a week. Such is life for a spoonie warrior. Maybe we’ll find a cure. Maybe I won’t have to feel like death anymore.

I’m hoping to get a new pump and CGM. I’m praying hardcore for it. I need them so bad. The next month should prove to be pretty interesting. We’ll see what happens. 

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