This Week

This week could not drag itself out any longer. Honestly. Even though the only reason I don’t want it to end is that I’m kind of enjoying just laying here in my misery. Hah. I wish it to go quicker so I can work more. I only worked 4 hours this week and it’s killing me. At least today was payday. Not that I have anything to spend my money on nor do I have the desire to do so. I mean, yeah, sure, there are things I’d like to buy, but actually buying them? No, thanks. At least when I get close to spending my money I get that deep-seated guilty feeling that eats my soul alive and I never end up going through with it.

The love and I have been trying to make plans to watch the eclipse. We’d like to see it in totality. He should get his new vacation time right before it, so we’re hoping we can have a little weekend together in a month. Then a month after that I have a doctor’s appointment. Who’s to say I’ll still keep getting hours week after next? I pray I do. Or I pray I get a call back from another potential employer with better pay and hours. Wouldn’t hurt my feelings if I got a full-time job and just worked some overnights or weekends at my current job.

I really love my current job. I’ve got the best boss a girl could ask for and my co-workers are nice, too. That discount is pretty sweet as well. Looking to go back to uni, but I don’t know where. And with saving money, selling the house and moving so much is up in the air I don’t know if I want to put that on my plate right now. I did, however, find my SAT scores. Let me tell you, I was actually kind of surprised. I was so hard on myself when I first got them 10 years ago. Or, at least, that’s how others made me feel about myself. I scored higher than most who took the SAT. I graduated high school with an advanced studies diploma. I was a part of Key Club and the National Art Honors Society. I may not have been a straight A student, but I fully had the capability to be one and it made my teachers so mad. They knew I was mad brilliant, but just never put forth the effort. 10 years later, of course, I feel I’ve wasted myself. Better late than never I suppose.

I’m just ready to sell our house and move into a new one. I feel like everything in my life is on hold because of this. I know I’ve said it before, but it weighs on me heavily.

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